I read a quote today by an author named Harold Sala: "The problem with living sacrifices is that they keep trying to crawl off the alter."
It reminded me of a prayer that I heard last night that stuck with me: "Jesus, thank you for staying on the cross."
It had never occurred to me before to thank Jesus not only for being willing to go to the cross, but also for staying there. We know he could have come down if he chose, and we know he was faced with the temptation to do so (See Matthew 27:39-43). So how was it possible for him to do that? In the midst of those hours of never-ending agony, when he was absolutely alone for the first time in his life, how was he able to resist that temptation? Why did he stay on the cross?
Well, I asked him. And while I was waiting for the answer, I went through a couple options:
1. It could have been an outpouring of God's grace on him in that moment--the same grace that I rely on every day in order to do what God asks me to do. But there was a potential problem with that theory: did Jesus have access to God's grace at that time? When did God turn his face away from him? Was it right before Jesus' death, or was it earlier? We could debate the theology of this question all day, but ultimately there's no way to know for sure. But if Jesus didn't have God's grace to rely on, how was he able to stay on the cross?
2. He stayed of his own will. I think we're getting closer, but if I evaluate my own strength of will based on my track record, I know I couldn't stay on the cross if I had the power to leave it, no matter what motive I had and no matter who had asked me to. (I guess that's why it's a good thing that I wasn't entrusted with saving the world...)
Well, I asked him. And while I was waiting for the answer, I went through a couple options:
1. It could have been an outpouring of God's grace on him in that moment--the same grace that I rely on every day in order to do what God asks me to do. But there was a potential problem with that theory: did Jesus have access to God's grace at that time? When did God turn his face away from him? Was it right before Jesus' death, or was it earlier? We could debate the theology of this question all day, but ultimately there's no way to know for sure. But if Jesus didn't have God's grace to rely on, how was he able to stay on the cross?
2. He stayed of his own will. I think we're getting closer, but if I evaluate my own strength of will based on my track record, I know I couldn't stay on the cross if I had the power to leave it, no matter what motive I had and no matter who had asked me to. (I guess that's why it's a good thing that I wasn't entrusted with saving the world...)
This is about when I moved from asking how Jesus had stayed in the cross, and started asking why. I know that it was going to earn him a great reward, and that it was an act of obedience to God (See Philippians 2:8-9). I know he had submitted his will to God's (See Matthew 26:38-39). But personally, there's no sort of future glory that I could have found worth that cost, especially while I was in the midst of the suffering itself. And fulfilling someone else's vision wouldn't have been a strong enough motivator for me to stay on the cross if I had the power to leave it.
So I came to the conclusion that Jesus must have stayed because he wanted to.
So I came to the conclusion that Jesus must have stayed because he wanted to.
But now here's the question: what did Jesus care for so much that he wanted to stay on the cross?
Consequently, this is also the question that God chose to answer. His answer: Joy. He was referring to Hebrews 12:2
"For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Consequently, this is also the question that God chose to answer. His answer: Joy. He was referring to Hebrews 12:2
"For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
If you've been around the church for any period of time, you've probably heard this verse quoted, and you've probably heard it followed with the "you were the joy set before him" speech. It's not that that isn't true, but personally I've heard it so often that it has begun to lose it's impact. But it's another matter entirely to hear God say it. After all that questioning and wondering what had kept Jesus on the cross, to hear that it was his desire for the very relationship that I now share with him, it hit me in a fresh, new way.
Jesus chose to be a living sacrifice, and he chose to stay on the alter, because he wanted his children so much.
Whenever I've read or heard the verse in Romans where it says to offer ourselves as living sacrifices (see Romans 12:1), it's never occurred to me that Jesus did it first. He not only took up his cross, but he also kept it. He surrendered himself not just to the death, but also to the suffering that would come beforehand.
Since that's what he did for us, that's what we ought to want to do for him. Offering our bodies as living sacrifices isn't an act of obligation, though Jesus has certainly earned such radical devotion. It's done "in view of God's mercy". When we look at Jesus's sacrifice for us long enough, we should long to offer him something in return. Just as Jesus longed for us.
So here's my heart's response: When God interrupts my day with some inconvenient task, or when he asks me to say something to a person without knowing how they'll react, I want to "fix [my] eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith. Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." I want to "Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, do that [I] will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:2-3)
