"I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning."
If you have been to my house at any time in the last 11 years, chances are you've been greeted by my little dog, Dixie. Either in "person" or vocally from her kennel in the other room. She has an issue with barking at strangers, especially strange dogs. This wasn't really an issue until March of 2018, when we adopted back a dog whom we had raised to be a service dog. This new dog, Cambria, had just retired from service, and, as her "puppy raisers" my family was offered the chance to take her into our home again. We said yes.
Everyone was on board with this plan. Everyone, that is, except Dixie. No matter how much we tried to convince her to get along, she had chosen to make Cambria her arch-nemesis. Dixie had always been a bossy dog, and had not yet met with a dog that was willing to stand up for itself. But Cambria did. She refused to be pushed around. The result: daily dog fights. This led to several vet visits, and even one or two trips to the "people doctor" for those of us who dared intervene. After this, we decided it was time to do something. So we started by keeping the two trouble-makers separate. However, that didn't feel like a permanent solution, especially for Dixie, who just needed to learn to chillax and enjoy life. Therefore, we found a professional dog training service.
We were taught how to help Dixie calm herself down and follow the new rules, no matter what distractions were present. New rules were put in place for her, not to restrict her, but to free her from having to find the right path for herself.
But why tell you all of this? I have a dog with issues, but why should you care? Because I want to tell you about what happened next.
We finished our sessions with the trainer, and were invited to attend "graduate class" at any time. You see, this trainer holds free weekly group sessions for everyone who has gone through their program. Well, our life got crazy, so it was several months before I could attend my first graduate class. I was super nervous. I was so afraid of how Dixie would act around all those strangers and their dogs, that I didn't even bring her along the first time. I went to dog obedience without my dog!
I showed up early. It was held at a park near my house, but I'd never been there before, so I left myself plenty of time to get lost and then un-lost before I had to be there. But I didn't end up having any trouble, so I had a chance to get my bearings with my environment. That helped my nerves a bit. Then the dogs started gathering.
I knew it was unusual to come to doggy class as a pup-less person. So I was a bit reluctant to join the party. But even more than that, I was afraid of what people would think of me. You see, Dixie was still having issues. Our training had fallen on the back burner for a while. We were still keeping her and Cambria separate. The lack of progress made me feel like a failure. So, there I was, about to face all these people who could bring their dogs into public without fear, while I had left my little terror at home. And all I could think of was excuses for the questions I “knew” would come.
However, as soon as I walked over to the gathering, I simply found a spot to stand and watch for a few minutes while everyone got organized. There were about fifteen or twenty dogs there, and as I watched, I saw that every single one of them was having trouble. Some were more nervous, some were too excited, and a few had to stand a couple yards away from the group in order to stay calm. Every one was different, but I realized that they were also the same. They all had issues, just like my dog did. And it wasn't something that drew judgment, but understanding from those around them. Instantly, I felt better. And as the class progressed, I grew confident that I could handle it. And so could Dixie.
Just as I was hesitant to bring my dog to the class, I find myself feeling that same pressure at church to “be normal”. It’s not an outside pressure, but a pressure that comes from within me that makes me not want to stand out. I’m sure I’m not the only one. However, as I attended the dog class that morning, I was reminded that church is a place for people with problems. We don’t have to leave our “issues” at home. That dog class exists to connect people who have “problem dogs”, to support them in their efforts to keep going with their training, and to answer any questions that come up. It’s the same with church! It is a place where we can connect, gain support, and have our day-to-day issues or questions addressed.
Now, I’m not saying that church is perfect. How could it be, when it’s made up of “problem people”? Not every church even cultivates such a welcoming environment for those who are living life and want to bring it with them when they attend. However, at its core, the Church exists to serve as a gathering of those who are united in Christ, and are pursuing the holy life that he lived. It is a place where we can “love one another” (1 John 3:11), and “encourage each other and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). It is a place where we can “serve one another” (Galatians 5:13), “bear with one another” (Epheisans 4:2), “instruct one another” (Romans 15:14), “spur one another on towards love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24), and “speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs” (Colossians 3:16; Ephesians 5:19). Finally, it is a place where we can “accept one another” (Romans 15:7).
I want to be clear that the Church is not called to accept those who are living in sin and are unwilling to leave it. That is where the shepherds must protect the sheep by first instructing, then correcting, and then refusing to associate with someone if they refuse to repent. Both Paul and Jesus taught regarding this subject, in Matthew 18:15-17; 1 Corinthians 5:1-5; and Titus 3:10. I am, instead, trying to encourage Christians to connect with their own church in such a way as will allow them to bring their troubles, sorrows, doubts, and fears, and find a caring community that is willing to bear their sorrows with them. “It is not good for man to be alone” was the reason God gave for creating woman (Genesis 2:18). How much more is it true for those of us who are facing a corrupt and hostile world on a daily basis? Therefore, God has given us the community of believers that we call “church”.
Church is more than a place where we walk into a dark room, sing for a bit, listen to the word, and leave. It is more than just another place where we put forth a polite, polished, prideful, and perfect persona. Those attitudes leave room for multiple excuses to “skip this week” or even leave the church altogether (which is forbidden in Hebrews 10:25). If, on the other hand, we put forth the effort to cultivate real relationships, share our burdens, discuss the Scriptures, and serve one another, we will find ourselves virtually inseparable.This is the place where we may find friends who “stick closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Where we may “flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22, emphasis mine). This environment will be more attractive and welcoming than all the coffee shops and light shows in the world!
Now, you may be wondering how you can find a church that provides you with all this acceptance, comfort, and support. Wake up! You are called to serve the Church just as much as the pastors, elders, and deacons. The Church does not exist only to serve you. If you want to see change in your church, make it happen. Get connected by reaching out. Who do your kids hang out with in Sunday School? Who sits behind you every week? Who do you watch from across the room, whose faith and devotion you admire and want to emulate? Who else stays behind after the service to connect and relate with others? Then, once you’re connected, establish trust by meeting together often. I know, it’s inconvenient. You’d rather have your nice family Sunday lunch at your favorite restaurant every week than bring a crockpot to church to serve a meal to others. You’d rather keep your family game night small and special than invite your kids’ friends’ family to join you. But let me encourage you with a personal testimony.
My family used to have hamburgers every Sunday after church. My dad makes good hamburgers. However, when I was in high school, God called my parents to start bringing lunch to church every week instead. You know that feeling you get when you’re going to a family reunion, and you don’t know if there will be anything brought that you’ll actually want to eat? Try having that feeling replacing the joy of knowing you’ll be eating a delicious hamburger every week without fail. Yeah, I was not a fan. However, as time went on, and we kept inviting people to join us, more families started coming regularly and bringing lunch to share. Our group is not big by any means, but fairly consistent. I made good friends, and not just with people my age. I have, through my parents’ obedience and faithfulness (and insistence), found a true community that I can depend on. Not only that, but it provides constant opportunities to make new friends, too. Any time a new family walks into church, my mom invites them to join us at “lunch bunch”. And, though many people have come and gone at our church in the twelve years since “lunch bunch” started, there is a core of families now that can’t imagine leaving each other except by the call of God. It’s extremely hard to explain how much of a blessing it has been. I’ll suffice it to say that when I was talking about what church should be like, it’s because I’ve experienced it that way.
Now, I still have trouble sometimes with the temptation to pretend that everything is OK when it’s really not.I want to leave my “problem pup” at home. However, because my church is my community, I know that “problem people” are not only allowed, but encouraged to come and be accepted. Therefore, if you have problems, don’t be afraid to bring them to church. If you have a faith community, good! If you attend church, but don’t have that connection, fix that. Finally, if you are not connected with any church, find one. Don’t expect perfection. Only make sure that they follow and preach the Bible with accuracy. Then, the people who are shepherded there will be able to accept such a change as you can bring.
